I really wish someone had told me sooner that after allmost 3 years in college it would still feel like school was holding me back, that i'm at a loss for feeling accomplished. Sure i do know more, and i know i do, but i havn't accomplished anything, i have nothing to be happy i did, should i get shot tommorrow. Nothing to leave a lasting impression on anyone, much less a stranger. Its felt like a waste, a big ball of stress. Not to mention my anger with the educatino system in general. I'm the type of person who like to learn from repeated attempts, or atleast many chances to prove myself, but the school system for the most part, gives me two or 3 super large grades in which one failed attempt can allmost ruin a whole semester. I'm not the studying type, so having to study is a big deal to me. I've spent most of my life just going to class and listening and being able to pass tests, or having really minor grades like quizes to see if i knew the material, and give me some sort of clue as to what i need to know. Professors really make horrible teachers usually, i wonder why we actually recruit them to teach us, having thorough knowledge of a subject means shit all if you can't explain it to someone properly.
But yeah the most accomplished thing i've felt so far this semester, was tonight when i sat down and decided to write out some lyrics for a song. Seriously, it felt like the most accomplishing thing i've done this semester. Maybe thats just the nature of expressing creativity. Maybe i need to pick up the arts again, if nothing more than to relieve my stress, but honestly i don't know how i'd find the time until December.